Sunday, January 11, 2009

If my mute son swears...what should I do?

Dear Gabby,

My son is mute, but is fluent in sign language.

My problem is that lately, I have seen him swearing! He has been spelling out curse words with his hands!

How can I make it stop? I feel helpless.

What should I do?

Helpless in Seattle


Dear Helpless,

I think there is but one thing you can do.

Wash his hands with soap!

Gabby

12 comments:

Janice said...

Gabby, you are brilliant!

Gabby said...

Thank you Janice.

I try.

Gabby

helen said...

Good one, Gabby.

Cheryl said...

funny!... how about gloves?

Gabby said...

Good one Cheryl!

katdish said...

Dear Gabby,

I think my friend Sherri is actually getting funnier! Your wise counsel must be helping. Either that or she has found her husband's stash...

Sincerely,

Amused

Gabby said...

Dear katdish,

I don't know of the stash of which you speak, but knowing Sherri as well as I do, I find her to be funniest when she has more than 7 minutes to spend on two posts!

I find that most of us are at our best when we are well rested and not pressed for time, trying to write a post while burning Velveeta cheese sandwiches while a control freak husband Lord's over you demanding that you stand there till "supper" is ready and perfect!!!!

Or maybe she just peered into the "window to the soul" one time too many!

Helen said...

Dear Gabby,
Mark Twain said everyone complains about the weather, but nobody does anything about it. I don't want to be like that. How can I improve the weather?

katdish said...

Dear Gabby,

On a recent trip to the local grocery store to pick up a pound of hamburger meat and a half gallon of milk, I was shocked and appauled when my total rang up to an astonishing $137.43! I am at a loss! I have combed through the magazines that found their way into my cart while waiting in line. While I am now completely up to date on all the latest celebrity cosmetic surgery, which actresses have cellulite, how to shed extra pounds with the new cabbage, Doritoes and Snicker's bar diet, how to make homemade valentines from Saranwrap and wire coat hangers, whether Brittney Spears is currently a drug addicted raving lunatic or a got-it-all-together loving mother of two, and the likely whereabouts of the Tom Cruise/Oprah Winfrey love child, I am sad to report that none of these publications offered any pertinent advice for my particular situation.

Gabby, I need your help! How can I convince my husband that our high grocery bills are due to the rising cost of meat and dairy products?

Signed,

Thrifty in Texas

Mare said...

Dear Gabby,

I am committed to being a best friend's bridesmaid in...say...approximately six months. I don't hear from said friend but a short once a month chat due to their busy life working and planning a wedding. Should I have hard feelings about this? This is my third time being a bridesmaid but "stop communication with future bride" wasn't a part of my role during the other weddings.

Also, if I meet the man of my dreams at upcoming party in Chicago, perhaps as he drops his mother off at the party, should I stop talking to said friend six months before we marry?

Dish This! said...

I have it on good authority that it might take Gabby some time to come back. I read these comments and determined your need for help, so I have come to deliver!


Dear Helen, You are obviously brilliant and capable. Go to school to become a Scientologist and see if that helps.



Dear Thrifty, Read the magazines at the grocery store while you are waiting in line. Then don't buy the magazine. Make separate trips for each item if you must.

Dear Mare, Brides are often selfish. Is this a normal part of her personality that just intensified? If so, forgive her (you always do anyway) and be glad that you are in Nigeria where she can't make you jump through hoops. If it ipart of her normal personality sn't, just forgive her and be glad you are in Nigeria where she can't make you jump through hoops.
About your other question....I don't think she will let that happen.

Gabby said...

Dear Dish This!

Great job pinch hitting for me while my dear computer was under the knife!

I appreciate your thoughtfulness and glad to see that you took the role of make-believe therapist very seriously, just as I do.

I'm sure these wisdom seekers have been helped and their problems have all but disappeared due to your insightful counsel.

*Update on my computer's virus.

DELLA is fine now, but had contacted 63 different infections by my clicking on one pop up that looked like a legitimate Microsoft 2009 virus alert! (It's the new one out there). If it should pop up on your screen, don't click anything, TURN OFF your computer and call for help (911).

I had a wonderful friend/doctor who operated on mine today.
Thank you Daniel!