Wednesday, April 8, 2009

IS Scribbling out the blessed Baby Jesus' face in the Bible the unpardonable sin?

Dear Gabby,

I just read something HERE that really disturbed me, I would like for you to answer my nagging question.

IS scribbling out the blessed Baby Jesus' face in the Bible the unpardonable sin?


A scared follower of a heathen blogger

Dear scared Follower,


This woman is WACK!

I'm no theologian, but common sense says she's getting ready to get a "jolt" so you don't want to be anywhere near!

Warn the others before it's too late.

Thank you for your concern.

I hope it's not too late for her...I hope she can still be reached. ( But not by me. I want nothing to do with the "lady").

Hopefully, a blog missionary will cross her path.



Thursday, April 2, 2009

Dear Gabby,

I have a friend who recently left a store without paying for a shirt she had dangling off her arm because she says "she forgot" it was there. She only remembered it was there when something snagged the shirt which caused her to look down and see it. However, at this point she was several stores away.

She did return to the first store to pay for it.

Then just a few stores away, while paying for some jewelry, she notices a LARGE PAIR OF GOLD PLATFORM SHOES resting on the same sticky arm!

She runs down to another store to pay for those shoes!

She's blaming the mental lapse on menopause or stress.

What do you think?


Friend of Sticky Fingers


Dear, Friend of Sticky Fingers,

I can only imagine the uncomfortable position you were placed in while "shopping" with this kleptomaniac..

Twice? You gotta' be kiddin' me!

She needs help IMMEDIATELY.

She needs to take some medication (by TAKE, I mean, get a prescription a PAY for it BEFORE leaving the pharmacy)for either early onset Alzheimer's, hormone replacement therapy or stress.

Only a medical doctor can make the final diagnosis.

(My license is fake, so they won't allow me to write cyber prescriptions but I do sometimes give my patients sugar pills.)

In the meantime, encourage her to shop from home and you might want to recommend a good lawyer in case of a relapse.

Saturday, February 28, 2009

"Ive been spending much too much time on the computer lately, and it's creating a problem...

Dear Gabby,

I've been spending much too much time on the computer lately and it's creating a problem...okay, MANY problems.

Although I love the blogging world, time spent writing for my own blog, commenting to my readers, checking out their sites & commenting there, checking out new sites & commenting there has me on the computer instead of taking care of business in my real world!

I have been avoiding housework, hardly cooking, not spending enough time with wonderful hubby and hardly even venturing outside to be with other people that I love.

Would you call this an addiction?

I need your help.


Glued to the screen

Dear Glued,

Because I am a fictional character created in the brilliant mind of a blog addict, I'm afraid to delve too deeply here in fear of getting the ax, however, I took this Hippocratic oath when I received my imaginary license to practice counseling online, and being the responsible imaginary person that I am, I do feel that I must at least lightly address the issue.

As with any hobby, it can easily become addictive in nature.

People golf for hours on end and spend a great deal of money to be able to do this.
Some ladies find that shopping is great stress relief and will obsessively make purchases with no regard to their budgets.

I find that although blogging is a great thing, it can also wind up costing you more than you bargained for.

Besides the obvious (carpal tunnel), it is never a good idea to isolate your self from the out side world, or those living within your own home. Neglecting household responsibilities could end up with you being the recipient of a visit from your local health department.

I've heard tale of people leaving Christmas trees up well into the month of January, burning supper (IF they actually remembered to MAKE supper), pretending to listen to their spouse share his deepest secrets while eyes were glancing at the inbox of the email.

You know it's a problem if, while sitting in your church service under FANTASTIC teaching, you find your self taking notes....for a new post idea!
(I've only HEARD of these things happening...not that I know of any one person who has been guilty of any of these things!)

If you fall into any of these categories, I would suggest taking a breather.

Limit yourself to blogging time only when no humans are in your presence, or for allotted times only, if you're never alone. (One hour human time, 30 minutes computer time- for starters.)
DO NOT CHECK EMAILS and text or twitter people when others are talking to you in person. IT IS RUDE!

It's never a good idea to trade relationships with those you love for ANY obsession-life is too short and it will leave you with regrets.

Ask those around you, what they think.

I would also love to hear from bloggers, how they manage their computer relationships with their peeps sharing their home with them.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

What is the best form of discipline?

Dear Gabby,

What do you think is the best form of discipline for a child who continually misbehaves?

I have tried everything!

I am desperate for answers.

Please help.

Desperate in Nantucket

Dear Desperate,

Depending on the severity of the "offense" of course, I would first suggest a verbal warning.

If that doesn't work, remind them of the verbal warning and then introduce them to the punishment.(i.e."Time Out Corner")

If that doesn't work, enforce the punishment.

I would suggest checking out a brilliant post written by someone who had to deal with some "undesirable behavior". It seemed to work. At least temporarily.

Good luck.


Wednesday, February 4, 2009

I need valentine gift ideas!

Dear Gabby,

I have a wonderful wife who is deserving of SO much. Much more than I can afford.

SO I thought that rather than spend money on a gift that is NOT going to last and wouldn't show my true affection for her, I thought that buying US a Harley to enjoy together would truly show her how I felt (even though she doesn't want us to have one).

We could take romantic rides together. Shop for leather duds together. Shine and clean on it obsessively together. Listen to "BORN TO BE WILD" together.

I value your opinion. What do you think?

Love Struck

Dear Love Struck?

Just who or WHAT do you really love here?

And I think you're right.
The gift of a Harley on Valentine's Day to a wife that doesn't want one would truly be showing her how you feel.

A few feelings/words that came to my mind were: Selfish. Ignorant. Out of touch.

I'd be careful here. She sounds like a fantastic woman and you wouldn't want to mess things up.

My gift ideas?
Chocolate. A gift certificate for a massage. A nice candlelit dinner. A weekend at a bed and breakfast. A new outfit and a large diamond. THEN ask if she wants a Harley.

Friday, January 30, 2009

Who WIll WIn?

Dear Gabby,

You seem to know alot about very many different subjects, and I value your wisdom.

I have a large sum of money resting on this SUper Bowl game on Sunday, and I thought before I make it Official,I would ask your opinion.

Who do you think will win the SUper Bowl game on Sunday and why?


A gambling Football Fan in Vegas

Dear Gambling Fan,

First of all, I am not promoting gambling as It has been known to cause many problems in families and then counseling is needed and I'm already overloaded with patients, so I don't need the extra work. Really.

But I do believe that the team that will win this year's Super Bowl will be....

The team that scores the most points before the final clock runs out!


Because that is the rule.

I hope this helped.

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Not a Fat Boy Lover

Dear Gabby,

A friend has a husband who is old and doesn't have much money but has found a Harley Davidson Motorcycle (a "Fat Boy") that he has dreamed of owning all of his life.

He wants to purchase it, as he thinks it's a great bargain, but is coming to his wife (a WONDERFUL lady, I might add) not for her approval, but for her blessing before he purchases it.

She will not say NO, as that is not her place, but she can't give her blessing due to the financial strains it will place on their budget and also the dangerous aspects of an old man driving the bike of his dreams.

Can you help me, I mean her?

Not a Fat Boy Lover

Dear Not a Fat Boy Lover,

You sound as though you are a very wise wife, I mean "friend", and are somewhat sensitive to your husband's, I mean friend's husbands dreams.

You make a couple of very good points though.

Would part of his dream include being late on payments and ruining your credit during these very difficult times our country is experiencing right now?

Would a part of his dream be spending time in the hospital repairing body parts that crazy drivers have damaged when they claim "he came out of no where!" ?

I would suggest that before your husband, I mean friend purchases it, he would write down a financial plan specifying the details of how he will pay for it, and what his second job will be if the economy stays the way it is, and times get even harder on everyone.

Oh, and make sure to "up" his insurance...medical and life BEFORE he purchases the motorcycle.

*You may benefit from a dear friend's post, "A Grown Boy and a Fat Boy" on A Matter of Fact blog site (you make click on this site on my side bar).

Funny, you sound very familiar....