Sunday, January 4, 2009

Welcome to Dear Gabby

Are you having problems with your spouse?
Your House? A MOUSE in the House? Is your neighbor a louse?

Well, don't despair! "Gabby" will find an answer for you!

It may not the be the correct answer, the best answer, or the most intelligent answer, but rest assured, by the end of the day, YOU WILL HAVE AN ANSWER! (It probably will not be spelled correctly, but hey. How desperate are you?)

Give me some of your toughest questions and I will try to find the answer (and may learn a little bit myself, along the way !)

Questions about relationships, religion, politics, home remedies, recipes, parenting, music, decorating, career, makeovers, diet and health, etc. are welcome.

BUT PLEASE, for your own good, NO MATH QUESTIONS! Or questions about technology, why men think the way they do, car problems, spelling questions or anything about wild game.

I will do all I can to help.
What I don't know, I'll research. What I can't find, I'll make up!


Well, maybe at least I can steer you in the right direction to let someone else answer your question.

Feel like you can add to my answer?

Feel free to chime in!

Looking forward to hearing from you!

Gabby

33 comments:

sherri said...

THIS IS JUST A SAMPLE!!!! NOT INTENDED TO FOOL YOU INTO THINKING SOMEONE ACTUALLY SENT IN THIS QUESTION!

Dear Gabby,

My job is interferring with my blogging lifestyle.

What Do you suggest?

Gabby said...

I say quit your job immediately! Don't let anything come between you and your blogger pals!

If our hubby doesn't like that answer, maybe just try to set aside some special hubby time so he doesn't feel neglected. And bake him a chocolate cake.
While he's eating it, slip out of the room and check your site!

Steph at The Red Clay Diaries said...

Dear Gabby,

I'm planning a trip to Times Square for New Year's Eve 2010, and I've heard there are no bathrooms.

How many days ahead of time should I refrain from eating or drinking?

OR Do you know of a portable pee pee tube for women that I could buy? Where would I get it?

WV: enymis
I don't want to make no enymis in Times Square by peeing on the sidewalk.

At your service.

Nancy said...

Now I'll be racking my brain trying to think of a question!

Gabby said...

Dear Steph @ Red Clay,
YOU ARE THE FIRST REAL PERSON TO COMMENT ON THIS SITE!!

You win LOTS of FREE ADVICE, and the destinction of being the very first in line of potential MILLIONS of followers!

If it should happen that only a couple show up, well, you were still the first!

I shall never forgot you!

Okay, now, to the question.

I strongly agree with your veriword definition sentence, about ticking people off by peeing in the streets. I wouldn't suggest it. It is a no-no in most countries now, even in New York City!
I learned from researching (I lurked at your research on your site to find this out) but there are no porta potties there. (Plus, ewww, would you even want to use one if there was one?)I'd rather wet myself.

I would suggest a "drink fast" from around noon on New Year's Day.
Unless you're comfortable wearing Depends, then hey, wet yourself! No one will be the wiser!

Please get back with me next year and let me know how it all went down!

Sincerely,
Gabby

Gabby said...

Nancy,
You were just 9 minutes behind Steph, but I appreciate the attempt.

I'll still consider you a charter member though.

COme back with a question!

Gabby

Gabby said...

Nancy,
You were just 9 minutes behind Steph, but I appreciate the attempt.

I'll still consider you a charter member though.

COme back with a question!

Gabby

katdish said...

Dear Gabby,

I have a dear friend who writes 2 blogs but has horrible spelling and grammatical skills. How can I tell her without hurting her feelings? Also, she's short.

wv: flotato - a floating potato, or a new type of rubber pants designed to be worn in Times Square on New Year's Eve.

Annie K said...

Dear Gabby,

I would've been the first to ask a question but my husband has been a slave driver today. I've painted, cleaned carpets, taken down Christmas decorations, vacuumed, scrubbed floors, brought my husband a beer (or two) and now I'm working on a fabulous dinner. Sorry I couldn't get here sooner.

Sincerely,
Cinderella

wv: lobaestr

The Russian pronunciation of lobster.

Steph at The Red Clay Diaries said...

Dear Gabby,

I have some amazingly hilarious friends in the blogosphere, but in the twitterverse, I am the lone member of the troop. (That's what they call a group of monkeys, right?)

How do I get these Luddites to get with the 21st century and TWEET already?

WV: plaminco
The dance you do when you really have to potty.
"Sweetie, I see you doing the plaminco, but it's only been 9 hours since we got here to Times Square, and you're gonna have to wait another 7 hours. Or go behind that fire hydrant."

Gabby said...

Dear Katdish,
You SEEM to be a very sensitive lady and so good of you to be concerned about your tiny friend.

You do need to realize, that although some find typos to be distracting and also may show a subpar level of intelligence, Scientists believe that poor spelling/typos usually prove the very high intelligence of the said short person, as they are more concerned about communicating the IDEA than worrting over trivial matters such as proper grammer, typing skills and the like.Thus freeing the brain for even more brilliant ideas.

It has been documented, that Einstein had HORRIBLE computer skills, that why he spoke more about all the boring things that he did. Also, Abe Lincoln. One typo after another. He wouldn't even use the compputer publicly.

THe apostle Paul's writings?
Went through several editors before finally being released.

I wouldn't worry about your precious little friend. SHe'll do fine.

BTW, she sounds delightful!

Short is the new Tall.

Thank you for your question.

Gabby

Gabrielle Eden said...

Gabby - that's some radial advice "quit your job!" I don't know if I want your advice - :)!

Steph at The Red Clay Diaries said...

Dear Cinderella,
I hope Gabby can help you with your husband problem. But don't count on it. I got more help from Katdish, since she pointed me toward flotatos.

Also? Don't ask her spelling questions. Just trust me.

WV: lifinat
I wrote to Dear Gabby for help with lifinat, and all she did was shamelessly self-promote.

Gabrielle Eden said...

Gabby, I believe there are porta potties in Times Square on New Year's eve.

Gabby said...

Dear Cinderella,
First of all, I'd be dumping the hubby. Sounds like he's puttin' a crimp in your style!

AFter much research, I learned that you only had ONE DECORATION up all CHristmas anyway, so what's he all bent out of shape over ?

Scrubbing floors is good for no one. You are getting WAY to close to toxic chemicals! (I did my research)

I hate to tell you what to do, but if I were you, I'd take my glass slipper out and tell him you're getting ready for a new "fitting"!

Then, simply ask for his help, or more computer time. ANyway you look at it, you'll come out ahead.

Just be sure to be in by midnight.

Thanks for seeking my wisdom.

Gabby

Gabby said...

Gabrielle, Thanks for the tip.
WHere did you find your answer? Did you google it?

I still would advise NO ONE to use a porta potty in times square!

Antique pee pots could you used IF you could find a private place. Might be kinda' hard in that crowd. I say wear the Depends and be on the safe side!

Gabby said...

Steph@RedCLay,

Your hilarious friends may be technolgically challenged, or feel that they don't want to spread their typos/spelling errors and grammatical goofs all over twitter!

There may be a bit of hestitation due to time constraints as well.

Maybe if you offered them money , large amounts of cash, to join you, you may end up with quite a following!

Those with jobs getting in the way, then could be a full time blogtwit!

Thanks for returning for even more of my great wisdom.

Gabby

katdish said...

Dear Gabby,

Thanks for the "advice"(?)

Hey, whatever helps you sleep at night...

Steph - Okay, I'm in. I'm all a-twitter. How do I twitter? (That's what she said.)

Annie K said...

Dear Steph,

What Katdish said. (or I could google it and find out how to do it, but I'm sitting on my arse drinking a lovely glass of Merlot after my non-observance of the Sabbath day.)

Gabby, I'll have you know I had 4 decorations up plus a nativity set I purchased in Mexico, thank you very much. And I can't get rid of the husband for reasons ...that..um...well...uh...(!!)

Steph at The Red Clay Diaries said...

Dear Gabby, et al,

I finally decided to do background research on my post about Times Square. Glad to find that it actually WAS accurate. (imagine!)

While there ARE portapotties, they are outside the "holding pens" that you get herded into. Here's what Newsday said:

'Bathroom breaks

Once inside your "viewing section," you need to stay there through midnight. However, if you have a bathroom emergency, try asking a nice NYC police officer to let you out for a pit stop. The Charmin restrooms in Times Square (between 45th and 46th streets), will be open until 2 a.m. The closer it gets to midnight, though, the tighter the security, and the less likely you will be allowed to leave and re-enter your pen, Martinez said.'

And they're "charmin" restrooms, so of course I'm sure they're spotless.

RE: Twitter...
I dunno, it's really hard. Are you ready to write this down?

1. Go to http://twitter.com
2. Sign up and choose a username and password.
3. Look me up: redclaydiaries
4. Follow me. I'll follow you back.

I feel a "twitter for dummies -erm- friends" post coming on.

Steph said...

You have WAY too much time on your hands!! Ok, let's see...

What is the absolute best way to get marker off of suede? Yes, my two year old with black permanent marker on my beatiful burnt orange chair....

gabby said...

Steph,

My best advice for a mom with a 2 yr. old is don't buy anything that fits in their hand that says "PERMANENT" on it! You're just askin' for trouble!

Hubby used to work for a janitorial service and one of his tips for cleaning furniture was using SHAVING CREAM.

Now, with suede, I would spot test a place that is not visible, first.

Hairspray gets out ink spots, so may work on majic marker, but again, try the spot test first.

Good Luck!
Gabby

Gabby said...

Dear Steph@redclay,
Thanks for doing all the research that I promised to do in the intro but already didn't do on my very first post.

You're a life saver!

Sincerely,
Gabby

Gabby said...

Steph,
Google people claim Wal-Mart sells suede cleaner that has worked on suede jackets, and also an ORECK carpet cleaner was suggested by someone.

Again, try a test spot first.

Crossin' my fingers,
Gabby

Matt @ The Church of No People said...

Sherri - cool new blog! I wish I had a problem at the moment, but I'll be sure to come back if I do! Looks like you got a lot of comments right away. Your presence must attract a lot of troubled people! Ha. God bless and happy blogging, Gabby/Sherri

Gabby said...

Matt, Thanks for gracing us all with your presence!

Sounds funny for someone to "Wish they had a problem" just so they could come back and visit!

Check back anyway. Just reading the comments of visitors is a blast!

You can always throw in your two cents, just for fun!

Here's hoping a SMALL problem comes your way,

Gabby

Gabby said...

Steph, Since your question about twittering, I see that you now have SEVERAL new blogtwits following you.

You're welcome.

Helen said...

I hope you enjoy your new blog as much as you do Matter of Fact.

I am threatening my husband that if he forgets to sign out one more time, I am going to comment under his moniker all across the blogusphere and say dorky things like "my wife, Helen, is so pretty and smart!" and "There is nothing like home cooking. Go to my wife's blog at..." you get the idea. I told him I would start by clicking on the history button and leaving that comment at every site he visited. What do you think Gabby/Sherri? Too harsh. He seems unphased.....for now.

Gabby said...

Dear Helen,

Yes I think a wife should always push her husband's buttons! Especially when they continue in their errant ways!

I have this feeling he probably leaves the toilet seat lid up, and never changes the toilet paper roll. Or refills an ice cube tray.
Or picks his socks up off the floor.

Good luck.

Gabby

Helen said...

No, he actually puts the lid down for me. Can't complain about that.

Gabby said...

Dear Helen,
1 out of 4?
Okay, he's a keeper!

Gabby

brandiandboys said...

so funny!!! i'm laughing out loud!!

Gabby said...

Brandi and Boys,

COme back with a question or problem that needs solved.

I lOVE to help!

Gabby