Saturday, January 17, 2009

Busting out at the seams!

Dear Gabby,

I need to know what to do.

None of my clothes fit anymore.

Each season when I remove my clothes from their storage bins, they do not fit- they are now a size too small!

I have no extra money to buy a new wardrobe, but I don't want to walk around in ill fitting clothes either.

What should I do?

Busting out at the seams

Dear Busting,

Sue the Rubbermaid company!

Obviously there's a defect in their product causing your clothes to shrink.

I'm sure it would have nothing to do with possible weight gain or the need to exercise.

*Please let me know if this works, because I've been experiencing the same problem with their faulty products!



Steph at The Red Clay Diaries said...

I'm here to help.

Tip #1: Give up sweets for 14 days. The ranting and raving you do at all the irritations that willl arise burn a LOT of calories.

Tip #2: Switch to an all-chocolate diet. You'll spend all your time in the bathroom, but in good news, your body won't actually absorb any calories.

Tip #3: Replace the energy you put into blogging with something like marathon training. It takes less time, and your family is proud rather than angry at you.

WV: logyrant
A logical rant. Something I've never done, but I've heard it can be quite effective.

Anonymous said...

Dear Gabby,
I aready emailed the rubbermaid company, but they refuse to take any responsibility for this! I am so angry....


Gabby said...

Dear Steph,

Thank you for the great tips!
Sounds as though you might be speaking from experience!

I love it when my followers join in the therapy sessions.


Gabby said...

Dear Bustin',

I say we file a class action law suit!

There are probably THOUSANDS of angry consumers who would love to join in.

We just need to get the word out.

*ATTENTION ALL FAT PEOPLE...If you are going up a size or two every season, and you store your clothes in Rubbermaid containers, please join the ranks of those who will no longer allow Rubbermaid to destroy our body image(s) and self worth by their faulty product shrinking our clothing.

Please send Gabby a large sum of Cash for all the work she will be required to do.

Thank you.

Annie K said...

Or you joing the great flat-fest going on in Oregon starting this very morning. It's going to be F-U-N. (Jon says, last night, 'so about this whole only two beers on the weekend...').

Gabby said...

Dear Annie K,

My flab and I have become very dependent on each other.

I believe the bible teaches moderation.

Now, my problem is defining moderation.

Compared to the 700 lb. man I saw on Jerry Springer, I would say that I'm a moderate eater.